The clip above is what I
would have played in class today, if only the cd player was working. I thought I'd put it up for those who were interested in what I'd intended for it to sound like. More to follow (with hopefully a shorter delay than the last time I said that)
1 comment:
Hi James,
Initial comments:
1. You need to make the music bigger; it seems like you're trying to fit too many systems on one page.
2. Your meter appears to be incorrect. Since you consistently subdivide in threes, I think 6/8 is what you want here.
3. There are numerous spots where enharmonic spellings need to be used to clarify things for the performer. Eg., bar 2 LH: F F# F F# should be F Gb F Gb, because (a) it's easier to see the contour of the line, (b) it results in fewer accidentals, and (c) the line would then go from Gb to Db in the next bar, which is an easier interval to understand than F# - Db. Also, you have numerous Db to B moves in the violin, and C# to B is easier to read. A lot of your violin part reads better in sharps (violinists also are more used to sharps than flats).
Further comments:
1. It is good, as I have already mentioned. You have an initial character that you remains consistent throughout.
2. The cadence you have at mm. 17-19 is interesting, in part because it takes us to a pitch I wasn't expecting. You could use Eb as your pitch center for the next section if you wanted; it seems like that is what you are setting up, in which case this would be the beginning of the B section in ABA form. Besides a new pitch center, in what other ways could this music be contrasting to the music of the A section?
That's it, really. The main thing is that it strikes me as having tremendous potential, and I would like to see where you go with it!
Cheers,
Clark
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